A Happy Family!
by Krithika Raj
It’s a lazy Sunday. I am lying on the bed with no mood to get up. It’s really wonderful to curl up and try to sleep a little more after you wake up on Sundays, knowing that you don’t have to rush up to work and don’t have big commitments for the day. I enjoy my Sundays. In my family Saturday evenings are so special. That’s when I always have a romantic evening with my husband, after the hectic week. My kids generally go to sleep at 9 pm. And that’s when our evening starts. We have a huge collection of movies. I love romantic comedy genres (Ya! Movies with happy ending, wedding bells, family drama etc) and my husband like typical boyish stuff movies (Batman Series, 300, movies with guns, wars etc). We both love animation movies. So choosing a movie for Saturday night is always challenging. As this is supposed to be a romantic night, I mostly win the war. We will end up watching a romantic comedy or an animation.
We have a wonderful setup in our apartment, which looks like a mini theater. We have a huge wall, on which we project movies with our Sony Home Cinema Projector. We have a Sony home theater setup as well (Yes, I am a big fan of Sony), which has made our experience of watching movies awesome! But it’s becoming less difficult to play music without waking up our kids Abi and Surya. Abi, our beautiful daughter, is eight years old. She is the one who has brought meaning to my life. I am not a big fan of kids in my early twenties. I have seen my sister and cousins struggle through their pregnancy. Even after they gave birth, they were not able to have a full night's sleep until the kids were 2 or 3 years old. I hated babies when I found them crying at the top of their voice in Trains, during night journeys, I find it very difficult to sleep during journeys. If babies are there in my compartment, they will make sure I don’t sleep during my journey. I end up sleeping in the office the next day.
In addition to all these, I was scared to give birth to a baby. Our family owns farm land in our native village. All our ancestors did farming. I have grown up in a setup where we usually see the goats and cows giving birth live in front of my eyes. I could hear the cries of pain from my cows and goats. I love them. I could not see them struggling so hard to give birth. When I had the thought that even I had to do this sometime, I felt really scared. I was angry at God! I usually ask God, “Why God? Why am I a girl, and not a boy? I don’t want to do this! Please save me, God!” He answered the questions so naturally.
Nothing was planned. I didn’t struggle to be a much mom. I got married to the one whom I loved. We love each other so much. We both are passionate, sharing and wonderful couple. We have a wonderful time. Before I could realize, one day I found that I am pregnant. It was a mixed feeling. I could not say whether I was happy or sad. But the thought of giving birth to a baby really scared the hell out of me. My husband was very supportive. It was very difficult during the first few weeks. I had nausea. I could not eat anything, though I was very hungry. I could smell everything from what is getting cooked in next door to the mild scented room fresheners. Even the smell of my favorite soap made me feel like vomiting. My husband had to browse through all the stores in search of scent free soaps, moisturizers etc for me.
But all these difficulties lasted only until I had my first ultrasound during my twelfth week of my pregnancy. That was the day I saw my little angel. I felt happy for the first time during my pregnancy. I realized how blessed I am to have the baby. It was so small. My husband could not see that at all. But I could feel the baby inside me. It made me feel happy.
My entire view on pregnancy, childbirth and baby changed after my first ultrasound. I started reading a lot. Though it was difficult to do even my daily chores, I felt happy at the end of the day. My expectation to see my baby grow a lot. In India it’s illegal to reveal the baby’s sex, even we both wanted that to be a surprise. My husband became my second mother during my pregnancy. He would do all the chores to make my life simple. I felt this is the honeymoon period where we both learned and understood so much about each other.
On 04th Oct 2015, out little angel was out. She was so cute, so small, and so lovely. It felt wonderful to feel her, touch her, and smell her. Everything about her made me happy. We are so lucky to have her in our life. Being a mom has made me feel wholesome. The day my Abi was born is the happiest day of my life, it's more wonderful than the day I got my first job, more wonderful than the day I realized that I am in love, more wonderful than the day I got married.
She grew up so fast. My days flew away with all her laugher, cries, anger and love. I am never happier than this. Soon my second child Surya was born on 9th July, 2023. He is now 8 months old. He is a naughty kid. I love playing with him. Abi is a wonderful sister, though she is also a small kid, she takes so much responsibility to take care of her brother. This makes us even happier. We are a small happy family.
Yesterday night, after our search, we finally narrowed down to watch “WALL- E”. Though we have watched the movie many times we always loved it. We had a great chat after the movie along with a few drinks. The day was awesome. A wonderful Saturday night is always followed by a Lazy Sunday. And here I am, lying on the bed at 9 AM in the morning, and I don’t want to get up. My husband takes care of the household chores on Sunday, to give me rest. He is now up, busy cooking breakfast for us. Surya is already hungry. I can hear him crying. I have to go and pacify him. I didn’t think that I will be like this, when I was in my twenties, that I will be a part of a wonderful family, with two beautiful kids. But life always gives you what you didn’t expect. Life is always Beautiful…***
I could hear the sound of my IPhone ringing, interrupting my dream. It’s my mom. “Oh, Mom! You won’t allow me to have a family even in my dream!”. Today is 26th Oct 2025, a lazy Sunday. I don’t want to get up. I am daydreaming. Everything about my small family, husband and kids is a dream. My parents are the one who made my life like this. I am all alone in my three bedroom apartment. I have the Sony projector and a home theater. But I don’t have a husband. I have a beautiful apartment, but don’t have two beautiful kids. I earn a lot, but don’t have anyone to share my happiness with. I am all alone. I am not married. I don’t have kids. Life always gives us what we didn’t expect. It didn’t give me a family.
I loved someone in my early twenties. In India, a country which is so rich in its culture and heritage, a country where customs and traditions are more important than human beings, a country with hundreds of sub-castes, loving someone before your marriage is sin. We are expected to marry the one our parents point out. We don’t have rights to decide our life partner. That was the biggest sin I ever committed in my life. And now here I am, 35 years old, a fair, good looking girl, who has always excelled in her studies, and has a successful carrier in hand, but with a failed life. I struggled so hard for four years to convince my parents to accept the one I loved. My parents never got convinced. They said they won’t allow me to marry him at any cost and the cost I paid is my life. I left my guy. We broke up. But I could not make up my mind to marry someone. I ended up being single and that really hurts. My life has given me what I didn’t expect!-------------