Advertisement Marriages

by Nuggehalli Pankaja
(Bangalore, India)

From NewJersey


“Dear mummy,

Herewith I have redirected a Matrimonial advertisement my friend from India sent me;It had appeared in one of your papers.I really felt upset after seeing it;You will understand why,after reading it.Tell me,have we brides become so cheap? I feel like taking that eligible bridegroom to court.

Your loving daughter

Kamala”

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‘Wanted a tall slim fair beautiful girl of ……community,to an eligible bachelor of the same community in U.S.A.She must not be more than twenty four twenty five,...Boy is about twenty eight-thirty, well qualified,working in a reputed firm, and earning well.Reply with photo.”


From Mother (Karnataka)

“Dear Kamala,
Saw the advertisement;Nothing wrong in it; It is ‘Man’s world,' hence his privilege to demand the best.Why don’t you try?

Mummy”


“Dear Sunita,

Herewith I send you a matrimonial AD,and my mother’s letter. See what the world has come to! We are supposed to hunt for our bridegrooms-like Savitri of puranas! Well, anyway I tried,and here is the reply- and mine to it; Read both and tell me your opinion—

The Advertiser’s letter-

“Dear aspiring bride,

I saw your photo-hum,pretty,in a way,but since it is only till the bust, I am unable to gauge your height.You do look a bit plumpy,but we can rectify it by strict diet; Since there is a lot of make-up, I wonder whether you are really fair. My mother wants a very fair daughter-in-law so that the next generation will be fair. My father wants a lucrative profession-holder as my wife; I do agree with him. Tell me frankly,how many dollars do you make? I hope you have saved most of it,and not frittered t away on your parents like some silly girls..Side by side, you should manage the house completely, since,as you must be knowing,servants are hard to come by in States. You will be everything to me.

Oh, by the way, I hope you are a green card holder?

Ram”


Her reply to that letter-

“Dear Mr.Eligible bridegroom,

Thanks for your prompt reply;That means you are in a hurry to get married,at the same time choosy. Well,I am in no hurry, as such,can afford to ask a few questions.You have stressed on ‘Fair colour’ (to be handed out for generations), does that mean you are dark?

Alas,we girls also like fair men;(Not for reasons of handing down to posterity.)

You have not made any mention of your height,or sent a photo. For all I know,you may be short-fat,or puny.Alas,we girls also want tall well built husbands;and gentle in nature;Are you gentle?.

You have stressed on professional qualifications- more or less a computer-bride spinning out money. Your emphasis on dollars collaberates it. Does that mean you are not earning that well?Alas,we girls also want husbands bringing home a big packet.Re.my savings,may I know how much you have saved?Wasted over your parents?

Like some silly boys?

Reg.green card,I hear many seemingly eligible bridegrooms marry for green card,to stabilise their stay in U.S.A.Are you one of them? Reg.housework,we working-girls believe in sharing even small piece of house-work-beginning from toilet cleaning to cooking! Otherwise--divorce! Believe me,I am soft-natured, (not just soft-ware),yea,very much soft-natured, as long as I am not rubbed on the wrong shoulder.Tell this to your dear mummy and daddy.

Kamala”

Well Sunita,what do you say?(There has been no reply from that ‘mama’s boy)

Sunita’s reaction-

“Dear Kamala,

Excellent! It is time girls give back as good as they got!If not, at this rate, a time may come when so-called eligible U.S.A-based bridegrooms may also advertise for strong- healthy-young‘IN-LAWS’ (without encumberances) to come at their own cost whenever there is emergency, and devote all their time-energy, to helping out their daughters in all matters apart from baby-sitting!
Sunitha”

From Mother-

“Kamala,

Foolish girl! You have spoilt a wonderful alliance!You have spoilt your own life by your own hands…Have you any head?………….”

Comments for Advertisement Marriages

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May 13, 2013
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Thanks
by: nuggehallipankaja

So nice to hear from you;Just yesterday i was thinking of you; I am glad you liked my piece,but
I like your information better;It will make a good
story;You have the talent to write it,adding some masala.
Did you ever think ,when unemployed during the first leg of marriage,that you both would be working in
USA?

May 13, 2013
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What a comeback!
by: Brinda subramanian

Hi Pankaja
I enjoyed reading it and loved the humour. I have, however, heard of a lot of cases where it is the girl that is demanding. Recently a friend of ours was mentioning about how a bride to be wanted to see the grooms pay check before even meeting him and refused because he was not making enough. I laughed because I agreed to marry my husband at a time when both of us were unemployed. Funny how perspectives have changed.

May 03, 2013
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by: nuggehallipankaja

Wonderful,your comment! I wish I had known of it earlier; Why don't you write a skit about it? Given
your unique humor I am sure it will be a hit !

May 03, 2013
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subtle humour
by: Kumuda Purushotham

Pankaja
As usual it a very enjoyable write up with subtle humour all along.
I wish to show you the other side of the coin that I have observed. How about this?
Wanted a very well qualified, handsome , tall boy from an affluent family with out encumberences.
I have come across a case where a girl's mother enquired over phone about a prospective groom for her daughter. First question was how much does the boy earn? Next was if he had sisters. when answered in the affirmative she promptly hung up! So much for feminism!

May 03, 2013
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Thanks
by: nuggehallipankaja

I was waiting for your comment,and wondering why it had not come.Thank you Vimala,

May 03, 2013
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FUNNY
by: vimala ramu

Apparently clothed in a funny language, it is no doubt a serious matter. Whether it is put down in black and white or not, the fact remains that the expectations are all there. Enjoyed reading, Pankaja.

May 02, 2013
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Thanks
by: nuggehallipankaja

Thanks very much Eva. It gave me great pleasure
to read your encouraging comment.

May 02, 2013
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Advertisement marriages.
by: Eva Bell

Pankaja,
That was quite amusing. I had a good laugh.

May 01, 2013
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Thanks
by: nuggehallipankaja

Thanks Kiran for your bold comment.It still seems to be a man's world!

May 01, 2013
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More than 5 Stars
by: Kiran Jhamb

It is high time girls gave back as good as they get! Otherwise the advertisements 'for strong- healthy-young‘IN-LAWS’ (without encumberances) to come at their own cost whenever there is emergency, and devote all their time-energy, to helping out their daughters' will become a reality.I need more than five stars to rate this article.

Apr 27, 2013
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Thanks
by: nuggehallipankaja

Pushpa,
So nice of you to have read it so quickly,and give
your opinion. You are one of the writers of our site whose works i appreciate much,as such, my spirit soars up with each comment!
Boys expect so much,can't girls also expect that much?

Apr 27, 2013
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Advertisement Marriages
by: Pushpa RAGHURAM

Hi, Pankaja,

Enjoyed reading the above write up. Yes "marriages" happen after getting to know the partner through an advertisement.

They are also broken without feeling any pangs of guilt. Theme ably tackled.

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