Told from a child's perspective, this story has to be childish. Isn't it? Also, in such stories, one has to be sensitive and understand what a new school bag means to some people who don't have it as opposed to people who take their luxurious lives for granted. Thank you for your comments.
Mar 19, 2010 Rating
deepavali by: Anonymous
good story but childish.
Mar 11, 2010 Rating
Thanks by: Sneha
Thank you for your comments.
Well, this story isn't 'targeted' for any particular age group. However, of all the childhood experiences I remember, there were times when I was aware of the fact but I did not know exactly what to do. I tried depicting the same sense of 'not knowing what to do' through Balaji.
Again, critiques are always welcome! Thank you.
Mar 10, 2010 Rating
hmm by: Anonymous
I'm not sure what age group you were targeting with this story but of all your writings, this one seemed rather childish (if you intended it for children, it would be different). There were quite a few grammatical and punctuation errors, and a few contradictions in the narrative. For instance, you say that Balaji was not aware of the economic hardships of life because of his age while in all other places he appears to be extremely conscious of this fact. Also his making up with Mohan seems weird as there is no real justification for it. I also wish you could tell more through dialogue rather than description. Again, I just hope that these comments are helpful and not discouraging. Please disagree with them :)
