Gone Away

by Sneha Subramanian Kanta
(Mumbai, Maharashtra, India)

Today night is terribly cold and I cannot possibly take this chilling temperature anymore. However, as I sit at my desk, I ponder: Why haven't I been able to make friends all my life? I look somehow enviously at other ladies of my age. They are so much more bonded in a group. Laughter clubs remind me of my loneliness. It is hardly a sight of admiration to me.


Can people really be so oblivious to life? Is it so easy to laugh off at things? I've tried it: unsuccessfully though looking at my mirror and tried laughing through it all: everything that life has given me; and sometimes just out of the blue. But I cannot break into a practiced or perfected laughter. Good for them, anyway.

It feels cold but I'll need to get out and take my night walk. A dog's silent cry is all I hear in this deserted lane. Two youngsters are smoking away to glory. Wish I could tell them this is injurious to their health. All cigarette packets carry the warning, don't they? Anyway, who would listen to the advice of a sixty year old lady?

I notice a speeding bike come across the street and disappear within seconds. There is a need to stop him; almost an instinct to, but he's gone far away and I have no way to speak to him. Still, my heart has an emptiness knowing well he cannot be brought again here to talk to me; so that I tell him that its unsafe driving so fast.

Its time to return home. The lonely streets and the mighty white moon do me no good. I wish tomorrow's day doesn't come. I can tear it off my calendar but not from the world.

Removing one's clothes always feels so good. You feel like you've been spared off the excesses. Atleast, physically. And this is all I've left of me: sagging skin and under eye bags. Doesn't feel good and the age-miracle cream doesn't help my skin feel or look any younger.

Sleep somehow permeates my eye and after a long battle between sleep and my eyes; I am taken into a motionless slumber.

12th November 2009 - A divorced old lady; no one knows anything about: people do not even know where my husband is or anything about him. Nor do I want to know where he is, thank you. I'd stopped wanting to know the day I came to know he was secretly married to someone else. One year of contemplation for the court, and the gavel was hit. We were free.

And yes, divorced.

Siddharth, of course, eighteen then, was with me. Until two years later.

This was the day it all happened. I lost my son, my Siddharth. The pools of blood surrounding his body are still fresh in my memory as they were, twenty years back. The policeman meanwhile told me. A case of drunken driving by your son!

It was all over for me.

Comments for Gone Away

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Jan 23, 2011
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A writer's freedom
by: Isabel

Totally agreeing with your views...being a writer gives us the freedom to create any story that we think is worth telling. We create our own world, we view things in a different light and different angle. We write and word words based on what's in our mind and whatever our heart dictated at that moment.


Really enjoyed this piece you have written.Thank you.

An avid reader,
Isabel Cecilia


Mar 11, 2010
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Thank you for your feedback
by: Sneha

Well, first of all thank you for all your comments. Well, about anthropomorphism, I did not deliberately use that technique in this story. If you read minutely, this short story is set within the time frame of some hours. A last thing would be - - I really do not think that succumbing a little to your emotions sometimes makes you less strong. We all go through such moments in life, and then take it in our stride.

Thank you for your feedback. Hope some of your thoughts are better explained now.

Mar 10, 2010
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nice
by: Anonymous

I found this story to be touching and yet not very original. I totally understand that it's really hard to place yourself in a much older person's shoes and write from their perspective, but I thought that the story fell short in that respect. I wish there was a little more anthrophomorphism in it and I truly, truly wish you would start creating strong female characters who keep their memories alive but are not imprisoned in them.

Mar 07, 2010
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Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thanks Ankita, for your encouraging comment !

Feb 23, 2010
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Superb!
by: Ankita Shende

Superb! i liked d way u narrated..sum good thoughts n' good story..liked d way it was unfolded..

Feb 23, 2010
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Thank you
by: Anonymous

I'm glad that my story had such an impact on you. Surely, shower your grandmother with lots of love and listening. These are the only two things required sometimes!

Feb 21, 2010
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good writing!
by: Priscilla

good writing :) after reading this, i really want to be more sensitive to my widowed grandma.. esp. her emotional needs, not just her physical ones.

Feb 21, 2010
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Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for reading and for your wishes, Ashwini.

Feb 20, 2010
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Good narrative!
by: Ashwini Muley

You have a good narrative style. Also good observation of life itself! All the best for future writing...

Feb 20, 2010
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Thank you
by: Sneha

Thank you for your comments to all of you. Would like to add that this is the story which is set up in one day of life of the woman portrayed here. She's gone through some sensitive moments in life and this story captures those.

Thank you for your encouraging comments Eva and Amitava!

Feb 19, 2010
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touching
by: Amitava Nag

... good...liked it... short and beautiful

Feb 19, 2010
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Gone Away
by: Eva Bell

Gone Away:
Memories are sometimes so haunting, and old age is not the golden age people pretend it is.
Nice and crisp.

Feb 19, 2010
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Comment on Short Story
by: Raja

Last Paragraph and the 3rd para from last made me feel like ......., You know better.

Please write some stories with +ve energy, which will make the readers happy and vibrant.

raja

Feb 19, 2010
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Superb writeup
by: Raghu

Though its tragic, its very well written, in the sense the reader will be immersed in the story. Why not try some "life is good" kinda story, as in life is all about being happy ?

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