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Asian Men and their Spouse

by Anam Usmani
(Peachtree City, USA)

Its easy to be someone's mate in happiness...but the best is amongst you who stays mate in their sad times.


Ever thought why Asian men find it hard to be compassionate towards their spouse?

Few days back I was reading some desi news online..(if you are Indian you will understand what online news channel I am talking about) I came across many incidents related to spouses. Mostly the Asian men (read mostly not always) are the once who dominated and over powered their wife's and eventually lead to fights, separation, divorce.. or in severe cases the crime.

Think what is the reason that Asian men are at lack of compassion and empathy towards their wife?
Reason from the time they attain maturity or get to the age of marriage they are taught that you can get many wives but getting your family and blood relation again is not possible...they are taught no matter what happens if you will listen to your wife you will be called coward or...
Showing love to your wife and supporting her openly is a biggest sin...
And when it concerns their family its their family that always comes first.

So basically its taught and filled up in their minds and souls from the very beginning of the age of marriage that even if they want to support and stand for their spouse they cant do that because what the world will think of them as coward...
When they are filled of these things they eventually feel less,least or almost no compassion and empathy for their wife..
They see wife as a legal way of fulfilling their desires and then bringing up their children's in the world..and raising them up..
They want their wife to be with them in their good and bad times..hardships but when it comes to their
wife's emotions they find it hard to share..

Simple example is - if someday the wife is angry or unhappy they in turn get angry or unhappy rather than talking ..showing support they show more unhappiness or which you call akad in hindi..
According to them it's wife's job to keep husband happy and keep her issues with herself ...
When a simple hug...a nice cuddle and few words of love and compassion are enough to heal wife's emotions they show their anger and unhappiness....
Is it correct to do?
Why is it so hard to show compassion to the person who left her everything just for you?
Why is it so hard to love and support a person for whom you are the world?
Just because she is a wife and you can get many..one after other...

No doubt the modern and younger generation is changing. They are loving and balancing their relationship with their spouse...but that percentage is still very low...
When you go and search deeply you will still fiund men who lack compassion for their wife in educated families also...
Why? Because of the cultural norms they are following which does not allow them to love their wife..

Think about it...
Men...try and change your thinking and outlook for the person who is gonna be with you till the end of your life..when no relation of your's will be there..

And parents, teach your sons to be compassionate for the girl who is gonna take care of your son for rest of his life...

Its so sad to see many marital relationships ending due to lack of compassion and love.

***


Disclaimer-I wrote what I read and researched...I don't always blame men for being wrong...many a times women are equally responsible too..So kindly dont take it on yourself..just a true article.

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Aug 08, 2019
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Agree
by: garima

actually right sometimes it depends on upbringing but not always ..and sometimes both are equally responsible.some suffer from inferiority complex..keep writing and share ...my best wishes

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