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Love yourself enough to set boundaries

by Rashmi Kaushik
(Noida, India)

Adolescence is a very trying phase for children and during this time there will be a lot of issues because of generation gap. The only mantra of parenting these days are to resolve these issues which can be done by removing our pre conceived notions about a lot of things.. We as parents contribute a lot in the character formation of our children...We should have faith in our children that they will become responsible citizens of our society....As parents we aspire to give best to our children but unknowingly we end up comparing them with other children and in the bargain force our unfulfilled desires on them...


Pooja was a happy go lucky 16 year old, but of late she had become very unhappy and insecure, the constant fights of her parents had become unbearable and on top of that her mom was forcing her to take dance classes. Pooja was more of a sports person and she loved playing basketball. Her mother's incessant nagging had made her withdraw into a shell. She stopped interacting with her friends, stopped going out with her parents, was always in a foul mood. One day her mother got a call from pooja's school. Pooja had fainted. A visit to the doctor revealed that she was anemic. Her parents were quite worried. They took a lot of care and she became better. Life went back to normal. But her mother was after her life again, she forced pooja to join dance classes and even called a dance teacher at home. Pooja s friends used to play basketball in the evening and pooja had to spend her evenings learning dance. She was do depressed that she failed in her boards. Her dream of becoming a sports person was shattered, she lost interest in everything and had become pale and listless. Her father had pity on her. He took her in confidence and tried to talk to her. That little gesture burst the dams and she started crying...


Her dad took her to a sports academy and got her enrolled for basketball classes. He spoke to her mother and convinced her to look at things from their daughters perspective. Her mom also realized her mistake, she was forcing her daughter to do what she herself was deprived of....

The end result was that things started becoming normal, Pooja was slowly becoming her usual self. Her parents also stopped fighting for petty things....the atmosphere of their home had become loving and calm....

We should not fulfill our dreams through our children. They should explore themselves and discover their own passion and live their lives freely.. Our children are a part of us but we don't own their souls. Let them live their life and learn from their own experiences.


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