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She was Disloyal

by Saarthi Gandotra

“Baby, please don’t keep the wet towel on bed”.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I won’t repeat this”. I was going through one of the captured moments with Khushi.

People feel I am heartless, but I don’t mind people saying this. It would be a dream of every father to play with his prince or princess, but I don’t even take my three week old toddler in my hands or look at him. Now would you agree that I am heartless man? But what made me heartless? I was not heartless. I had a heart that would beat for Khushi and only for Khushi. But I think she didn’t love me. If she loved me she would not have left me alone.

28th July - I was the happiest person in the world. My relation with Khushi was going to the next level. Khushi was expecting! I danced in the Hospital, after hearing this news.

People around me in the hospital thought I was a crazy guy, but who cares. This feeling of being father should have been more important to me than other things. But I feared about new responsibilities. Over that Khushi would say, “I'm there with you”.

With every day I was experiencing new things like 2 o’clock ice cream party, mood swings of Khushi and weird wishes of her. These were one of the best moments in my life. I captured my each moment with Khushi during this phase.

The day when we went for Khushi’s sonography test I was more worried and scared than her. My heart told me that there was something wrong with her. Our happiness has caught evil eye, I said.

Khushi had some complication in her pregnancy. I was tensed. We even thought of abortion, but she refused.

From that moment I took utmost care of Khushi. I tried to give her most of my time.

Time passed. Khushi was 8- month pregnant. I prayed to God that He can take away all my things, but except for my family. I patiently waited for this moment and didn’t want Him to take them away.

15th April was the day I would never forget in my life. Khushi was in labour pain. I was madly roaming in the lobby of the hospital. The people whom I loved the most in my life, their life was at stake. Doctor gave me the choice where they could either save the life of my Khushi or my unborn baby.

Without a moment's thought, I said "I want Khushi." I was ready to be the murderer of my unborn baby because I loved Khushi more. But fate had something else in store for us. Doctors could not save my Khushi. My unborn baby killed my Khushi. Hearing this, my heart stopped beating.

Three weeks passed. I haven’t seen the face of my son. Khushi promised to stay with me always. She would share the responsibilities with me. But she left me. She chose death over me. Only I had the permission to hug her, but she shared it with death. She was disloyal. She was unfaithful.

She left me alone with our son. But he needs both his parents. I alone must bring him up. I can take care of my baby, but who will take care of me?


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