Custom Search

Thank you Dad for Being What You Are!

by Patrick
(India)

Thank you Dad for being what you are. I have learnt so much from you!

1. Money is everything... More than relationships

You have always prioritized money over anything, even relationships. You fought with your own people for money. You criticized your son for asking money for something petty like milk packets. You ignored it completely when the same son spent so much on your health, monthly groceries, fuel etc. Never mind, but the WiFi at home which you use for watching adult content is paid by your son. You have disrespected many people – own ones, outsiders – just because they are financially weak.
Realize that you even criticize your brother for his weak financial background.
May be you do not yet know, or you safely ignored it for as there is no financial loss in this; but you have lost the respect for all the roles you have played – Father, Husband, Father-in-Law, Son-in-Law, and a human.

Thank you for being what you are. I have learnt that relationships come before money!

2. Wife is a servant who has no right to speak!

It still haunts me how you used to shout at Mom during our childhood and would threaten to call her parents for no reason. Although those days I never understood why, later it was crystal clear that you don’t respect her because of her weak family financial background.

You have twice threatened to murder and chop her into pieces. I don’t know if you at all bother our feelings, but that day you lost your respect as a husband, father and a human.
Be glad you are still not in jail.

You never let your wife take a decision. You have criticized her opinions and interests. You have denied her right to work and wear clothes of her choice, although you have no right to do so. You have taken granted her respect towards you, which you don’t deserve anymore.

Thank you very much for being what you are! I have learnt how NOT to be with my Mother and Wife!

3. I am always right!

Whatever you have done to your in-laws, is repeating to you as an in-law. Both for no reason. But even now you safely ignore the fact that you have done wrong, and you are still doing the same mistakes. You did never retrospect or introspect your deeds, just because you mastered the art of ignoring other’s feelings and convinced yourself that you are always right. Just like how blatantly you ignore the suffering of your wife.

Thank you for being what you are! I realized how important for one to retrospect and introspect.

4. I, Me and Myself!

You can never accept anyone pointing out your mistakes. You go till any extent to shout and threaten them for doing so.

I can never forget how you disrespected your Mother-in-Law in her son’s marriage with such a vulgar language, for no mistake of hers. Just because of your own imagination out of ego.
I remember how many times after marriage you said “It would had been great if I married my colleague’s wife, just because her parents had huge property”. May be it would have had been better for us. We would have got a nice family!
Every word of yours you use to hurt our feelings just to ensure we never revolt at you, stays fresh in our minds.

Nevertheless,

it’s because of your EGO you ignored many suggestions regarding your daughter’s marriage.

Remember! EGO only leads to downfall.

Thank you for being what you are! I learnt the place of EGO in my life.

5. Society is important than home!
Maintain the image in society!
We still remember how you have ‘helped’ that stranger, daily laborer, teen age girl and gave her a ride in your car to buy her a pair of chappals. Oh ya! All this happened when your wife is not at home and you kept it a secret from her right?

I am trying hard to remember when you were so kind the last time with your family. Because, the latest I remember is taking money from your daughter for the extra 2000 bucks she swiped from your card for buying a dress for herself. Never to forget, the last time you bought her a dress is before her marriage.

Thank you for being what you are! I now know how important my family than ‘society’ is!

6. Rude and sulky is the new cool! Let’s disrespect people!

That frequent happenings, where you shout at your family so loud that even the watchman 4 floors beneath can hear! And the sulky behavior for the next 3 or 4 days at home where you do not talk to people but be very jovial and funny with outsiders at the same time; became the regular rituals at home.

Did you ever bother to understand that the reason behind this is the atmosphere you created at home? You never like people at home being jovial and laughing, just because you can’t be one. A military silence prevailed since childhood at home. You lack basic communication skills. Your ego hurdles your way in listening to people. Even after all these years you couldn’t learn solving problems by mutual talks and understanding.

Do you bother to know that how much we miss a lively home atmosphere seeing other families how closed they are knitted?

And yes! That quarrels at home when you need to spend money ultimately. Remembering how mad you were at home because you need to spend for your daughter’s marriage, it still squeezes my heart on how my Sister cried because of you for her marriage. You created a ruckus for giving money to buy the marriage saree for her. While you do all this at home, you have silently agreed to pay a dowry of 3 lakh rupees for your daughter’s marriage without consulting anyone.

I’m still perplexed, how did you manage to buy a plot worth 18 lakhs right at the time of your Son’s marriage and create ruckus at home that you are out of money? All this in spite you agreed in front of your relatives that you are having extra sufficient money for his marriage expenses!

Thank you for being what you are! I learnt how to behave!

Sorry Dad, I just couldn’t thank you enough for each and every thing that I have learnt from you. One day, I surely will; in person.
Thank you Dad for being what you are! I learnt how to be a human!

I don’t blame you anymore…coz I lost that attachment with you and the expectation from you.

Your’s…
I wish I understood you wrong!

N.B: The purpose of this article is not to offend anyone. It is just a personal view on things based on experiences.
***

Comments for Thank you Dad for Being What You Are!

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 05, 2019
Rating

Bildungsroman of the Indian Son
by: Your Name: Kiran Jhamb

The title had led me to believe that it would be a sentimental rant by some ideal daughter about a somewhat perfect doating dad. After reading it I burst out laughing not because it was funny but because I realized I had just witnessed the miracle of the final coming of age of the Indian son depicting the psychological and moral growth! Amazingly written! It is the death knell of toxic masculinity nurtured by patriarchy. More power to your pen. Be nurturing that's what a human being does. Patrick, you are a son naa? because I could not find any author info.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Perspective.