The Undeserving Only Girl Child - contd
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As she kept speaking her heart out, I just kept silent and let her speak. I may not be the right person she was trying to make a point clear. But it got me thinking if I was in such a situation how would I have reacted? As an answer to this I felt if she had a sibling may be she would be in a better mental state as she would be sure there is someone who would take care of her parents. Now she felt helpless, embarrassed, emotional as she had no clue what she would do in such a scenario. She was troubled and stressed mentally but she could not explain her emotions. May be if she had a sibling, she would have shared these sentiments with him/her rather than explaining it to me. But I was happy at least she took her grief out in front of someone. If you speak to someone about your pain and grief it helps, I have read so.
Not being sure how I could help her I said “There will be an attitude change may be in future and you don’t worry”. Trying to motivate her I added “I hope you feel better after speaking to me. Consider me as your sibling and if ever you feel sad about something, share with me. We can be each other’s support system.”
She was a bit moved by the sibling remark I felt. Then she said, “Siblings are very important in life and I miss mine. I have nowhere to go to and no one to speak to other than my parents. But telling your problems to parents helps neither of us as it adds to their tension. So ultimately, I had to ask God why don’t I have any siblings? And God did answer to that question”.
I got a bit curious to know how she got that answer and I was now trying to find the reason behind her first question to me. So, I asked her, "So do you know the answer to your first question?" She said, “I stumbled upon a text sent by my husband’s sister to him saying I don’t deserve to have a sibling. So God hasn’t given me any. And I got my answer”. Further, she added “people who know me only for just 8 years feel I am undeserving and my parents’ troublemakers. Isn’t it a God’s miracle??"
Then she asked “would you still like to be my sibling, dear when I don’t deserve one? You are my childhood friend and I want to be your friend forever. But I am scared to even think of you as a sibling as God may steal my friend from me.” So, we cancelled the sibling idea and we are still friends.
She said she has lot of such remarks which she has to bear. The only solution for her is to shed tears and keep silent for world peace (as she terms it). But I don’t think so and I wanted to speak out the emotions and the trauma girls go though. There are countless stories and I thought of adding one more.
As I write this incident down, I don’t know how should I pen down her emotions. What vocabulary, grammar etc to use to best reflect her emotions. A story is best told by you and not by anybody else. So I am not the best one. I have actually let my emotions and her story flow through this writing. I still don’t know the answer to the questions she asked. I don’t know why we humans are so weird in our thinking. Can we really sustain with new relationships when the pressure of new ones put old relationships at stake?
She didn’t find any answers nor have I. Is it a normal issue with all married girls or with single married girl child? I feel if any relationship is disrespectful to any other relationships in your life, give it a break and move on. Relationships are precious it takes years to form. Similarly, don’t be disheartened if someone disrespects you or feels you are undeserving. The relationship you have with yourself has also evolved over the years and is sacred. Only it should be you who decides what’s best for you. Don’t suppress your emotions, make sure you express. Definitely someday you will find some respectful ears. And yes, an ONLY child is not a LONELY child. ***