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To my loving mother

by Erin Paul
(Kottayam, Kerala, India)

It was a beautiful morning Sneha woke up looking around for a coffee, as usual she did not see her mother. She went to the kitchen and prepared coffee. "Nice coffee ma" she said. Just then her daughter asked her" whom are you talking to?" Then Sneha realized her mother was not around.

Somedays when she cooks, she feels her mother is yelling at her to stir fry properly and put the right ingredients. She always happen to put too much salt or curry powder and it might taste awkward. One day her daughter was shouting at her why is the curry taste so bad. When she sees her daughter she gets the feeling that her mother is shouting at her.

When she tries to fold clothes and arrange it nicely in her wardrobe, she can hear her mother's voice saying.

"Quickly finish your work, you have plenty of jobs to finish today". "Help your children in their studies. "She saw her mother sitting next to them telling them to write and study, but Sneha was too busy daydreaming.

One day while she was cooking, she noticed someone entered their house. She followed the footsteps and went upstairs. She went to each room to check if the thief was there, but it all went in vain. Suddenly she heard a crying noise in the terrace, immediately she ran and watched in silence as her mother falls to the ground. Something golden flashes through the air, and Sneha realizes that her mother is dead. Tears started running down her cheeks and she notices that everything looks blurry. It's almost as if tears were trying to shield her from the horror that ensues around her. She put her hand across her mouth, trying to stifle a cry, but it does nothing to mute the sound that escapes from her lips.

She called the police but whenever they arrive they get angry at her. Only she can see her mother’s
dead body ...police told her family several times to get her checked with any psychiatrist.

Sneha still feels her mother was murdered and it was not a suicide attempt but how could she prove it. Only she saw her mother dying.

"Is there a ghost walking around in this house, you keep talking to yourself " Sneha's daughter asked her" Sneha again came back to her sense and she noticed she was standing in the terrace ". She was totally speechless with only tears in her eyes.

Sneha lost her mother a year ago and lives with her husband and daughter. She only got a news from her relatives that it was an accidental death.
Sneha got a terrible headache on that day and would keep hallucinating every day. She dreams of her mother sitting beside her.

One day her daughter decide to tell this to her dad but dad is too busy to hear all these stories and kept telling his daughter" Amma will be fine, she is depressed." "Don't disturb her" but Sneha's daughter was curious to find out what was wrong with her mother. She discussed with her close friend Megha to help her mother come back as normal as possible. Megha discussed with her mother and she came up with a solution. Let's take her to a psychiatrist. My friend knows a Doctor who can help to deal with her problems.
Day by day the problem got worse. Finally Sneha was taken to the psychiatrist. She prescribed medicines and told her to take it day and night.

Sneha was getting better but still the memories of her mother kept haunting her. She started to write a diary as the doctor told her to do so. Every day her diary would start" To my loving mother and she would write all what happened on that day". Slowly she accepted the fact that her mother was not murdered, it was a suicide attempt.


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