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When Does Somebody Love Himself/Herself?

by Sanghamitra Basu Patra
(Bangalore, India)

I am feeling so irritated from last few days.

Nothing is going according to me. Pressure at office, family troubles, lack of satisfaction in performance.... oh come on, I can understand that these are common problems! Everybody has to go through all these. But this doesn’t make somebody less desirable in his/her eyes. Sometimes I feel like slapping and scolding myself aloud, when I go through my previous wrong-doings. I really feel embarrassed about some horrible blunders I have ever made.

But it’s time to feel bad about few incidents, when I think over the mistakes others made. At that time, I feel like embracing, loving myself. I just feel like giving assurance to me, that everything will be fine. I know that the behaviour is based on deep-rooted insecurity, but I really can’t help myself.

Several times in my childhood I have been punished for the mistakes which others made. My mom didn’t have the time to listen to me; she used to sort out things by punishing me. Whenever I see myself in those childhood days, crouching in a corner, trying to hide myself from my angry mom and her vicious stick- I just feel like picking up that frightened child, placing her on my lap, embrace her tightly and assure that nobody is going to harm you, my baby. If I would get somebody like this at that time, life would be more safe and interesting.

Still I can see the young girl being bullied in her class. Teachers are not listening to her, blaming her for her poor grades, concluding that all these are fake routes to escape from studies. I feel really frustrated when I think about her helplessness. I want to sit with her, tutor her with tough subjects, give her assurance and inject courage in her that she can do very well. No teacher was that sympathetic to guide the scared child properly, when I think about it I feel like loving that helpless and frustrated child more and more.

My heart goes for that teenage girl, trying to suppress the pain and discomfort of her growing body. She is trying desperately to stay away from some pervert relative who has an ill motive. Whenever he finds her alone, he tries to show her affection in some inappropriate way and tries to inject some guilt-feeling in her. I want to protect that child fiercely from those evil claws. She committed no sin, then why should she suffer from something for which she is never responsible? I love that child for being courageous enough to bounce back all ill-treatments, for having the power to fight back all those evils.

I feel proud of that young lady who raised her voice against common malpractices in the society. She stands for the poor people when their huts are being massacred by local hooligans. She fights back when a minor girl gets married to an elderly person. She protests against social evil like dowry harassment and domestic violence. She helps ladies from lower socio-economic backgrounds to support themselves.

When I see that helpless child to metamorphose into this strong woman, I feel proud of her. This is the time when I love myself most. Virtually I feel like patting her on her back and raise voice with her against all kind of social evils and corruption. This is the most appropriate time to love oneself, as I can feel. Encourage yourself when you really deserve it, leaving behind all those shortcomings and backlogs. It is there in us, we just need to find out the courage and respect to ourselves.

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Oct 20, 2015
by: safecarsforteens

I really like it.I was checking constantly this blog and I'm impressed!

Jun 30, 2011
by: isabel

This made me reflect deeper and totally embrace the thought..."Love urself first" without any guilt feelings of being selfish...

When you learn to love and embrace urself it's a way of freeing urself from the iron cage u have self-imposed because doubtful notions and super strict ego. When u passed all these doubts, self-punishments and so forth then new doors will open and ur horizon looks brighter and broader!

Apr 26, 2011
A humble bow to you!
by: Tanuja Chatterjee

Hi Sanghamitra!
You've just finished writing a fabulous piece. It opened new vistas of self reflection. I'm bowled out by your way of bringing out the cacophony of hearts in the sunshine, with unfathomable dignity! Thanx and keep writing for I'll be waiting for more.

Apr 25, 2011
Self love
by: vimala ramu

A very charmingly put forth philosophy of love. This is what Bhagavadgita also preaches. Do not hate yourself.

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