Within Just Three Minutes
by Nuggehalli Pankaja
My my, what’s this!I had lost, of all the things, ‘MY BODY’! Where did I lose it, and when? And now find myself floating in the air! Higher and higher did I soar,traversing the lanes of Universe, and boy, wasn’t that an experience wonderful? Absolutely no traffic up there, neither halt board nor policeman! Looking down, what do I see? Oh God, of all the things, my body-treasured body, decorated with flowers!
Thrilled, I peered down, to memorize the names on each garland, but the purohith threw them away in disgust, carefully culling the few notes attached; Slipping them into the big bundle he had amassed at my cost,bloated,while I floated down and scanned the whole area like one bemused. Aree, where was the T.V yar?? It had been first on my list of invitees when that destined day arrived,had it been shelved by this superstitious priest? Thinking, T.V,photos, cameras, all would take him to naraka if allowed? Forgetting that this is real naraka for me with no grand send-off as envisaged?
“Oh,a film-star had died, and the press-walas are all over there, crowding- covering up that great man’s funeral; If you had any commonsense, you would have checked the birthdays and death-days of ‘politicians, actors, terrorists’ first, and then died”-Admonished my sole soul-mourner, the priest.
Yes,but why this outdated ‘CHATTA’ of all thing! Why not a resplendently decorated van? That too for me,a popular writer of murder-stories?
“Bund! Have you forgotten that you are still in our famous garden-city- Bangalore?” –Whispered the same emotionless voice..
“Then, how about Corporation-van? That would have been better than this rickety-chatta;Worse than our Bangalore Rickshaw……..didn’t you tell them who I am?”- I ranted.
“Petrol-shortage oh soul! Nowadays those vans are completely reserved for extolled ex-dacoits,rowdies,terrorists, now moulded into saintly M.L.As –…sort of.social service done by us wise citizens”. Came the shocking answer.
“O.K, O.K, at least where are my fans? The whole lot? Did they not weep and cry before the T.V as wont? Were they not trained? Were not photos taken while they lamented? And sent to all papers?”- I took the mechanical priest to task...
“Yes, they cried much-before the T.V, when India lost; Cried and cried! Not to be left behind, also cried for our poor India. Being too busy to leave the T.V and come out, they have sent flowers-heaps of flowers! Now get ready quick, I don’t want to miss the cricket-match”. And he began chanting the chilling soul-send off mantras, minimizing where he could.
Enraged, I jumped from the bier,and rushed home………rushed just in time to save the trunk-full of my writings being sold as raddi……………
Believe me, it all happened within minutes-JUST THREE MINUTES!And that a few days back……yes, really a few days back!!! Are you crying that I came back to dump more garbage on you,(Adding to the famous garbage of our Bangalore) my dear-very very readers ? Well, better luck next time………..