by Abha Ahad
You listened to my stupid talks;
My fears, my anger.
You kissed me out of my pains.
When no one was there to pat me,
You hugged me and made me feel special.
You became my best friend when they left me alone
My secret lover,
The parent I longed for.
You turned my loneliness into solitude,
You taught me to cry, to scream and wail.
You sucked out of me my insecurities.
I wish they never filled my life with light.
Oh, darkness, my dear old friend,
I need to talk to you again…
2. IN ANTICIPATION OF MY MASTERPIECE
When I sat down today,
With a quill in my hand,
Waking up my blank brain ;
Waiting for my masterpiece.
My alter ego.
Took me in her hands and flew high.
To show me the world,
To give my brain,
the intellectual stimulation.
I heard the cries
Saw the chaos
Felt the pain
Smelt the blood
Tasted the wrath
Never did quil
Feel my touch again,
‘Cause my senses had gone numb…
Standing near the cliff
I replayed everything in my mind
Everything I ever had to see
Everything I ever had to hear
Everything I ever had to endure
My failure to see your smirks
My failure to ignore your comments
My failure to look away from your face
All my senses united
I felt relieved
Knowing my absence will make no difference to anyone
I plunged into the space
Not to hurt anyone
But to cure myself
To escape from my pain into eternal bliss
And to free myself
Once and for all.
Tic. Tic. Tic.
Like those sounds, they left
A couple of them last week
A dozen this week
Never did I realise the reason
Was it because I never forced them to stay?
Or was it because they never realised I wanted them to stay?
Did they think that an adieu will not make a difference to me?
Or did they expect people to fill the lacunae their absence had created?
Little did they know that nothing has filled the void in my heart
Nothing has blessed my soul That strength to term my loneliness ‘solitude’.
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