But Just Say I Love You - 12
by Jaysree Vijay
(Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India)
Back to Chapter 11
Chapter - 12
Days rolled by. Harini was in the verge of completing her final year. She had been to Chennai before her exams. She intended to meet Vijay.
They were seated in a restaurant. Vijay, missing his brother was evident from his eyes, which were droopy and the skin beneath which had predominant dark circle. Of course the loss was irreversible, Harini thought.
“How are you”, Vijay spoke.
Probably in the last one and a half years, this was the first time Vijay had initiated the conversation.
“I am doing well, Vijay”, she responded. She felt too odd to hear her own reply, because it was formal than ever.
There was a pause.
“Vijay, I love you”, she started again.
“Love you, too”, he managed to smile.
“Vijay, I can understand and feel what you have been going through. You are remembering Vidyuth in every single breathe. Had he been beside, would he be happy to see you this way?”
“What are you trying to say?”, Vijay looked up for the first time in the past fifteen minutes.
“I am not telling. I am requesting. A humble request.” She paused. Vijay did not interrupt. “Please move on, Vijay. At some point in life, when know nowhere to go, the best thing is to go with the flow, just accepting things coming our way. We might not find the meaning at that point of time, but later every piece will fall in place. But for all this to happen, we have to move on. ”, Harini continued.
“Move on, where? “
“In life, Vijay. Move on in your studies. Move on in life. You have placed so many decisions in pending. Revisit them. Become stronger. Nature loved Vidyuth so much. That is why it took him back so soon. He is with us. Around us, loving us, guarding us”, Harini hastened her talk.
“But not living with us”, Vijay banged the table.
“Vijay, I am not sure how to…”, Harini was interrupted by Vijay.
“I can understand. You want me to move on and marry you. It is high time your life needs an answer, right? You have decided that you have waited for long. Listen Harini, my brother meant everything to me. I don’t want anything in life now. I cannot show you the same love, I have been showing before. If you are tired of my dejected behavior, you are free to move on. YOU MOVE ON. That sounds better. Go marry a guy who can Love you alone. Marry a guy of your choice. Now just leave me”, Vijay shouted.
Harini fought back her tears. Her deep brown eyes were wet. She looked into Vijay’s eyes directly. He turned away. Nothing was going right, she thought. His words poked her hard. She left the restaurant. She turned back to look at him as she opened the door. He did not bother to look at her. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
She reached home with reddened eyes. His words lingered in her mind. She could not take it. She covered her face and cried, until she slept.
Vijay could not sleep either. He re-read all the texts and consoling words Harini had been sending him all the while. He felt he had been too harsh on her. His eyes were moist. He realized that he was hasty enough to chide her mercilessly. She was not wrong at all,
he realized later. He decided to meet her and apologize for his folly.
Harini was not sure when she fell asleep. She was woken up by the bright sun shine. She was not sure what time in the morning it was. She hurried to search for her mobile. She remembered not taking it out when she reached home. She searched in her bag. It was 15 minutes past 9. There were two texts. Both were from Vijay
“I am sorry”, read the first text.
“Shall we meet today, please” read the second.
She did not reply. Her nostrils flared. She decided not to reply.
After a few seconds, she typed “Where?” and sent the text.
She convinced herself that it was her last text to Vijay that day. Also she made up her mind not to meet him.
Few hours later, she was busy searching for him. They decided to meet in the beach.
Harini‘s love for Vijay was strong enough to break all her resolutions. It was him and the love for him, which was of the highest priority for her. Everything else did not matter; even herself and her so called strong resolutions.
“I am sorry”, Vijay spoke as he sat beside her.
Harini did not answer.
“I said, I am sorry,” Vijay repeated.
“For what?”, she kept her voice low.
“For everything, especially, being harsh on you”, he grabbed her hand.
“I was not hurt because you were harsh. You could have beaten me to death or buried me alive. You did worse. You asked me to leave you. You asked me to marry someone else. You are in agony, I know. But from where did you get the guts to speak that way”, Harini spoke in a single breathe.
Vijay was silent. His grip on her hands reflected his moods. She could sense his genuine love.
Harini continued to speak. “I know Vijay. Love is not just about sharing happy moments together. It is also about how we brace each other at time of melancholy. Love is all about staying together, fighting the odds together, maneuvering the obstacles together and of course living our love life together.
Vijay continued to remain silent. He slowly caressed her fingers.
Without turning his head, he asked, “For all that you have been to me, at the time of distress, I wish I should do something for you. What do you want my love?”
“Find a job”
“But you have not completed your course.”
“Idiot, find a job for you. Be it in your father’s firm or at a place of your choice, make sure you find it. The loss, your parents suffering is irremediable. Stand up. You have to make it up. Make them see Vidyuth through your eyes. Make them come out of it. Try to keep yourself busy and vibrant. Unfurl the same to them.”
The affirmation her big eyes gave him were mammoth. He decided to change his mind that day.
“Where shall we go for dinner?”, inquired Vijay.
“Wait, I guess you said sorry in the beginning. But, I have not forgiven you yet”, Harini replied, her voice and face grim.
Harini’s discordant behavior confused Vijay.
“So, what is the punishment?”, he asked.
“You have to marry me", Harini smiled and started digging the sand.
Vijay smiled. It was the sweetest punishment, he thought. He never knew, that he would penalize his lovable Harini, post wedding. Chapter 13 is continued here.