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Are you an Elephant Parent?

by Sudha Chandrasekaran
(Coimbatore, India)

“Dive into the realm of Elephant Parenting, a heart-centric approach that places a premium on your child’s emotional landscape. Discover the power of warmth, empathy, and encouragement and embrace a parenting style that prioritizes happiness and security.”

Parenting, a journey laden with choices, styles, and philosophies, witnesses the emergence of
diverse approaches. One such approach making waves in the parenting realm is “Elephant Parenting,” drawing inspiration from the protective and caring nature of elephants in the wild.

This unique style places a premium on a child’s emotional well-being, fostering an environment where happiness and security take centre stage.

What is elephant parenting? Journalist Priyanka Sharma-Sindhar coined the phrase in an essay for ‘The Atlantic’ as an alternative style of parenting to tiger parenting and it’s more goal-oriented nature. The goal is to build confidence, understanding and a strong connection in the parent-child relationship. Elephant parents tend to be very flexible. They adapt to what their child needs in the moment. It’s about creating a safe haven for your little one.

“Elephant parenting is a newer term just like helicopter or tiger parenting. It is a softer parenting style that encourages warmth and empathy.” Tiger parents are authoritarian by nature and exert strict control over their children and they are more success driven, whereas Jelly fish parents are those who are weak and permissive.

Helicopter parents are those who ‘“hover’ over their child, are overly involved, controlling, propping the children in an attempt to protect them from failure, risk and mistakes. Elephant parenting may appear to be very good but at the same time it may also merge with the overprotective helicopter parents that crushes a child’s independence, or it may fall into the category of permissive parenting wherein all demands of the child are met and they literally take the upper hand always.

Elephant parents are softer and more focused on emotional support. It’s not about pushing your child to achieve at all costs. It’s about letting them grow at their own pace. It’s about parent –child connection and building trust and not enforcing rules. In their younger days, kids are highly protected, and these parents rush to their rescue even when they have the slightest fall. And also these kids sleep longer with their parents than kids whose parents have adopted a different style of parenting… The kids are allowed to
develop at their own pace.

Sporting and academic success take a back seat and priority is given more to emotional security than any other achievement. Elephant Parenting reinforces the development of the much-required positive image of the self. The children are wrapped in a big, warm blanket of love and affection which helps them feel secure enough to explore the world. It creates an environment where they can express themselves without judgment. It’s okay to be sad, angry,or frustrated. It’s not about fixing their problems but about listening and validating their emotions. This is so important for their emotional growth. I think one of the best things about this style is that it lets kids be themselves. It’s about accepting them for who they are quirks and all. We’re not trying to mould them into something they’re not. We’re letting them discover their own passions and interests.

Several are the positive outcomes that are connected to emotional quotient and resilient attitude that are derived when elephant parenting is done in the proper way. These positive outcomes include self-confidence, empathy for others and great self-confidence as well. When a child that is being brought up in the elephant parenting style, brings home a report with a low score, the parent does not pounce immediately, but tries to find the reason as to why this had happened. This parenting method creates a healthy rapport and safe environment for the child which helps the child to go out confidently and find his feet in the world. But they know that their “ROCK” is right behind them for any help and comfort that they may need. This method develops a sense of self-reliance and champion’s emotional intelligence. Elephant parents are totally, involved in the day-to-day activities of their wards, not in a controlling way but in a supportive way. The constant outpouring of good understanding and love aids in building confidence and cultivating a strong bond and mutual trust between children and parents. These in turn lays the foundation for free and open communication between them. Children of Elephant Parents are better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of life.

Elephant parenting is a difficult needle to thread as it faces the challenge of fostering independence while focusing on prioritizing emotional security. As children’s emotional
intelligence and capacity for self-sufficiency grows, parents must adapt how protective they are and how they talk about emotions. While nurturing, this style can lead to challenges like overprotection. Finding a balance between support and independence is the key for healthy
development...

Compared to the jellyfish parent which can be permissive to a fault and the helicopter parent who might be too overbearing, the elephant parent is typically flexible and adaptable to their child’s needs wherein the emotional security of the child takes priority.

And pushing kids to participate in sports or activities they don’t love on the premise that doing so will at least give them the option to participate when they get older is totally out of the question. An elephant parent also worries less about grades or certain milestones as long as their kid is happy and emotionally intelligent, though they also understand the importance of routine and structure at a young age.

Elephant parents are highly protective towards their wards, which reflect the innate protective nature of the elephants. The priority of elephant parents is to make sure that their wards grow up in a safe and cocooned atmosphere, which will make them feel loved and secured in their parental home.
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Elephant parents typically form a very understanding relationship with their child, one that prioritizes communication and connection. A very healthy relationship with your child is incredibly important when it comes to learning new experiences and helping them move forward in life. You’re creating a safe haven for them to come back to when they need it. Elephant parents succeed in creating a close bond with their child while still allowing for independence that acknowledges support from home. There is definitely a connection between a nurturing parenting style and an increase in academic success and positive risk-taking. It encourages kids to express themselves and explore their interests.

Children raised in this environment are more likely to possess a nuanced understanding of their emotions as well as those of others, setting the stage for healthier relationships in the
future. It's important that elephant parents give their children opportunities to face challenges and setbacks on their own as well as with support. Fostering Independence: Now, this might sound weird, but elephant parenting can actually help kids become more independent. It’s about giving them a secure base. I let my kids take risks, knowing I’m there if they need me. Its like, "Go explore; I’ve got your back. They’re big on physical touch, like hugs and cuddles. It’s all about creating a safe and secure
environment.

Challenges of Elephant Parenting
Potential Overprotection; Overprotection can sometimes hinder a child’s independence, which might prevent children from learning how to handle difficult situations It’s a balancing
act, for sure, balancing flexibility and structure: But kids also need some kind of routine, don’t they? It is a constant negotiation. Avoiding Dependency Issues: This is my biggest fear. I want my kids to know I’m always there for them. I’m trying to teach them to fly, not just build a really comfy nest. They also tend to have higher self-esteem. Plus, they’re often more resilient when facing challenges.

Conclusion:

Elephant Parenting stands as a beacon of compassion and nurturing in the vast expanse of parenting philosophies. By prioritizing a child’s emotional happiness and fostering an
environment grounded in warmth and encouragement, Elephant Parents are crafting the next generation of confident, emotionally intelligent individuals. As we delve into the heart of Elephant Parenting, we find a unique approach that promises to redefine the parent-child dynamic, ushering in an era where resilience, positivity, and emotional well-being take centre stage.

There is no pressure to adopt any one style, either. You know what is best for your children. “Ultimately, there are no universal rules for parenting,” Dr. Akande says. “It's deeply cultural and all about finding the right balance—a healthy mix of emotional safety, nurturing support, and clear, respectful boundaries. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Each child is an individual, with different wants, personality and dispositions with their own unique personality, temperament, and needs.

Parenting is an interesting adventure which continuously evolves Parents need to celebrate each and every step of their child’s journey in life!