But Just Say I Love You - 18
by Jaysree Vijay
(Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India)
Back to Chapter 17
It was half past seven. Couple of days had passed by since the last session with Shyam was over. The bright aurora lightened up the city. Vijay was fast asleep. His mind had been either racing or worried or terrified since he came to know about Harini's trauma and the truth in his past. Vijay was awake the whole night just to make sure Harini slept well. He thought of getting some sleep in the morning.
Vijay's sleep was disturbed by a song. He first thought it was some mumbling sound. Later the sound was predominant. He woke up, terrified. Was it Hashna? Is she singing some hindi song? Had she taken over again? Vijay's mind raised so many questions. He rushed into the kitchen. Harini was there cutting vegetables. He was not sure how to check on her. He could not see her face. He touched her shoulders. She turned. Vijay let out a sigh of relief. It was his Innocent Harini.
“Vijay! Good morning," Harini smiled.
Vijay smiled back weakly, searching for something around.
“What are you looking for?”
“Do you hear a song.”
“Yes, Of course. That is your mobile. It has been ringing for a long time."
Vijay came running to the couch. He turned his mobile off, held his head and sank into the couch.
There was gentle pat on his shoulder.
“I know you do not prefer, me doing this for you. But just this time, have this coffee. You look drained. This will help you”, Harini extended his coffee mug.
Vijay got the mug and placed it on the table.
Harini assumed he was not interested. She turned to leave. She suddenly sensed she was being held at her wrist. She turned in surprise. Vijay was holding her hand. She was stunned.
“Sit,” Vijay pointed to the couch. She obliged.
He looked directly into her eyes. He held her hand close to him. His sudden touches sent shock waves through her. She looked down. “Harini”, Vijay called.
His next move startled her.
As he held her hands, he slowly knelt down before her. Harini was sitting on the couch, while Vijay knelt on the floor. His face was close to her lap.
He slowly rested his head on her lap. Harini was befuddled. Slowly she felt wetness spreading over her Kurtha. She raised his head in dismay.
Vijay was crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks.
Harini froze for a moment. “Vijay?” , she called.
She slowly lifted his head off her lap and sat down on the floor beside him.
“Harini”, Vijay's voice break.
She had an urge to brush away the hair that fell on his forehead. She was not sure how would he react to her touch. She just looked at him, directly into his eyes.
Her eyes looked like an oasis of love. She had undergone so much in the past couple of days. Sleep inducing injection, repeated hypnosis. Still she managed to show him love, just her purest love.
Vijay slowly took her hands. He took her hands to his face. He rested his cheeks on her palm. He felt her warmth. Her hands gave him comfort.
“Harini”, he called again.
“ I....”, Vijay dragged.
still not sure how to react to Vijay's sudden change.
“Harini, I...” Vijay was still fumbling for words.
“Harini, I am going to tell you something important.”, Vijay finally gathered his strength to speak.
Harini did not speak. She looked at him with avidity.
“Harini, how shoddy have I been to you since our wedding? Will you forgive me?” he asked.
Harini was still looking at him, without changing her expressions.
There was a long pause.
“Harini, Sorry is not a word for all that I have done to you.”, he held her hand tight and continued to speak about Vidyuth, how he was deluded that It was Arvind who pushed and how he came to know the truth from Shyam.
“I thought, I had been penalizing you and Arvind, by trying to completely ignore you.” Vijay held his head with his left hand. “But , in reality I have been fooling around myself. Ignoring you, hurting you.” he hit his head hard with his hand, weeping.
Harini held his hand tight, preventing further movement. The cut in her wrist hurt her. She did not bother to mind it, at least now. She slowly moved closer to Vijay.
“You stopped loving me just because you were misled? You ignored me, just because you thought my brother killed Vidyuth?” Harini asked.
Vijay nodded in discomfiture.
“Nothing in me made you hate me?”, Harini asked.
Vijay brought Harini's hand close. He rested his head on her hands and shook his head “No” .
“Will you forgive me for my sacrilege?" asked Vijay helplessly.
Harini was silent. Vijay slowly raised his head to look at her face. She was sitting still, tears rolling down. She looked at him closely. Her eyes asked immense questions to Vijay. Vijay did not have answer for any. He just had one answer ' Sorry'. Vijay was not sure how relevant that answer was.
Harini slowly withdrew her hand from Vijay's grip. She covered her face and cried. Vijay waited patiently beside her, waiting for her to look at him.
She looked at him with her tear stained eyes. She slowly held his shirt. She tightened her grip. She shook him hard.
“How dare you do it? How dare you do it? If you believed it was Arvind, you should have spoken to him, accused him or punished him. Why did you leave my love at stake?, Harini was crying heavily.
As she cried she slowly rested her head on his chest. ”Can you imagine how hard it was for me?”, she asked. Vijay did not have an answer.
Harini looked down. Her tears blurred her vision. Vijay slowly turned her head towards him. He wiped her tears and pulled her closer to him. With utmost reluctance he braced her softly. Harini wept vigorously as Vijay hugged her. She hugged him tight. Vijay rested his head on her's.
“I really do not know If I can ask this, but will you forgive me?" asked Vijay.
Harini tried to tell something, when the calling bell rang. Harini turned towards the door.
“Wait, let me see who it is," spoke Harini, as she wiped off her tears.
As Harini opened the door, she stood there, in utter shock. *** To be continued in Chapter 19